Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Guest Post by Pliny The Elder

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 I mean DISPLACER KLAUS brought me this and he says it's from Pliny The Elder and who I am to doubt that chuckling rascal?


 The lovely and solemn Hoot Beast roams the plains , sustained only by smells . It is thus dependent on the numerous wild flowers and fragrant trees in the pyrrhous  lands. Unusually it does not  sniff the flowers like a thoughtful man or suckle at them like the bee, it instead draws them down their scent from the wind, numerous leagues away from the source.
It is thus provoked by unpleasant smells , sometimes chasing down and trampling the source of them , though when encountering the dense reek of man's settlements they will flee .

The nomads of the Pyrrhous  Plains lure them with perfumed youths and shear the wool from them after the winter months which they use for many purposes,  most notable their spherical hats, which they keep birds of various martial and social purpose.


Here is a Satan , its appearance here has been crafted wading through a vast river of soul chyme where it plucks the juicey congealments that have made it through the mastications of the Gnawing Gates.

A Satans size is variable , and is known to be both like a common wading bird and a striding colossi. Its temperament is like most in New Plymouth ; cruel and disagreeable.

It is provoked by hats of all kinds and will make great fuss before commencing violence, plucking at limbs and flinging such grasped great distances .  It however is known to vastly over-estimate its ability to riddle


 This bird is fierce king of the Pyrrhous Plains and unlike other avian, strikes not with beak or claw but its flattened body, which is like a single blade.

A eagle or hawk will descend directly on its quarry , but the Tabularaptor will descend first at distance and come low , slicing through leg. It returns then when exsanguination  has rendered the struck into a stupourous placidity .
Its method thus forewarns by the falling of grass and stalk at a short distance.

Its nests are not made in cliff but hollow tree, rolling itself like scroll to rest such in.

The Nomads here thus fear dead trees yet strangely do not take measures against them. It is said that they owe their freedom from horse raiders to the Tabularaptor, as a single walker can lie prone evading the bird , but a ridden horse has no such recourse and will surely be victim .

The borders of the plains are indeed marked with short towers , constructed with horse skull and bisected femur to serve as grim reminder of the bird's great feast that was the end of every cavalry lead expedition here.


A simple sand sifting beast, that travels in herds among the many dead rivers along the plains.

None of its dead form can resist decay, crumbling to dust in days. Therefore no part of it can be used for construction or craft.

It is said that raising a Husky Gobbler on food that is not the silt on which it customarily consumes will mean it will not have this property .

The theory is that rocks have a "solid essence" giving them their form , and as fire has cold as its opposite, the silt has an "erosive essence" which is stored in the Husky Gobbler's body.

Indeed the nomads will serve the meat as poison to those that abuse their hospitality.
Eaten, such meat will sustain for a day or 2 , but then create 5 times the hunger it abated, causing such horrors as men eating all their clothing and then biting their own fingers off.

While peaceful , harassing the Husky Gobbler will cause it to sneeze a fine dust with such force , that skin will be abraded off muscle and muscle off bone.


It is stupid except when it is cunning, and cowardly except when it is audacious.

It is so appalling that it vomits from its rear and coughs up dung like a cat does hair.

Rank corpses arose its carnal passions and a Very Bad Pig sow will need to anoint itself with the most putrid of decays in order to distract the male from shit-fighting.

It is said that it was made with all that is terrible of the bear , wolve, cur , boar and bigamist.

 Updated to have sources and change the name of purple plains to pyrrhous plains because that was a place holder that I went with and then went , nah yeah that's fine , and then 20 minutes later hated it

art sources:

Hoot Beast https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macrauchenia
(originally Robert Bruce Horsfall)


it's a Argentavis magnificens and the image is everywhere 

 Husky Gobbler:
stock art of platybelodon herd , originally by Corey Ford

Very Bad Pig
by Jay Matternes

Tuesday, 10 April 2018


Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF  It is been awhile!

My brain seems to have all its "write rpg material" being sucked limp by trying to finish those planescape notes that I said I was done with but now have an editor for .

the landscape art is being done with collage . Everyone loves collage.

I found this written down while I was cleaning up my room , it's reality problems and rotten incomprehensible technology .
I just wrote down the best ones (10 of about 40) and now are adding some more

1. Dark sickly red fluid , when it contacts rock or bone it makes it bubble, froth and melt. It acts like this for 30 seconds, longer/shorter if the temperature is low/high (respectively)

2.A liquid mirror that staring into it will random swap your skills with some alternate version with you.

3.Contagious glow that slows down fire and explosions to a trickle

4.A crystal that's a big mess of spikes that if it stabs a limb , the limb develops its own personality

5. A leech twisted into an endless writhing know. If place on dead flesh , it will animate and make it repeat its last 5 minutes of life until it completely falls apart

6.Gleaming dust that rigidifies a soft material until its hard as steel. Applied to skin it will just harden the skin which will make it eventually rip off the body as the skin and tissue underneath and around it loses its hold

7. Drifting fog which crystallizes into razor sharp , gravity defying shards sporadically

8. A bouncy orb that doubles in bounce height each time. After d20 bounces it blows up with lethal force

9. A black rock that pulses every 10 second with a deep , bone shuddering,  bass note. Each bass note will trigger an ancestral memory

10. Stack of glass discs, grinding on top of each , make horrible noises. Stuff keeps coming alive around it, spontaneous generation style

11. A stain in the air , like a film strip about to burn. Starting at it for a minute will cause a permanent blind spot in the vision of the starer. They however can reach into this blindspot as if it was a portable hole , with a opening of 30 centimetres.
 Anything living placed in this"hole" will disappear, more or less forever. If something living is not placed in the hole each day, a centimeter hole will appear on the inflicted. If it keeps not being fed , it will continue to grow ,doubling in size each day.
The hole will not cause blood loss or expose the internal flesh to infection , but will limit function as a hole in the body normally would.

12. A black pole, seemingly like coal or slow burned wood, stretched up from its metre base to hair thin over a 100 metres. Nothing can die in its shadow.

13.  A simple brass like hoop, warm to the touch , indestructible and fixed in space.

14. Pulsing mass of needles. If a vertebrate touches them they dive under the skin and proceed to convert them into a invertebrate, chasing and flattening out the bones into plates and sewing the muscles into the necessary ties to move them. It's more than a little painful.

15. A glass ball. Touching either it removes the ability to feel pain for an hour or discharges all the pain that would of been felt by the last toucher into them.

16. A mass of organs turned into something like a circuit board. It removes and stores hunger into salt tubes.

17. A field of white grass, rustling to unknown winds. Each blade of grass ranges from a metre to 3 metres in height. Walking through the field will cause 1d4 duplicates of the walker to appear somewhere in the world. Their personalities will be each different weird exaggerated versions  of aspects of the walkers and each has a 10% chance of wanting to ruin and consume the original. The duplicates all know the exact location of the original at all times.
This effect doens't trigger more than once an hour.

18. A knife with a rainbow blade. The blade is harmless and as solid as an actual rainbow. However anything it "cuts" though will have a mirage appear of them repeating their next minute of actions an hour after they were cut with the blade. The mirage appears 376 centimetres in front of the current location of the swinger of the blade and corresponding to their line of vision.
If the knife's handle is covered with the users blood the mirage will be real for all purposes , for that minute. This will then age the user by 10% of their natural life span.

19. A square of some kind of flexible metal. Its single colour slowly shifts through the visual light spectrum, over the course of a day. Anything wrapped in it will have objects of that colour effectively not exist for it.
Results vary on how much a colour has to match the current colour for it to be effective.  An art programs "fill selected colour " option could be your arbiter here.

20. A small moon that orbits whoever is alive and oldest within 10 metres. It produces moonlight as if an actual moon ("produce" = reflected sunlight if you run that kind of campaign), that does all the things that moonlight usually does to certain magics and magical beings.
Unfortunately anything that happens to this moon, also happens to the actual moon.

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Rey and Patrick Argued About Crystals

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EDIT: Added some ""on brand""  ""content""
and Lo! it happened

take aways from this:

> Rey is relentlessly agreeable

>Rey is also a relentlessly weeaboo. At one point he tries to think of a sword type other than katana. He does not succeed. To be fair Rey did say scimitar first and spends a couple of seconds wrestling with his weebness before submitting and saying katana. He manages to name drop only one obscure anime however.

>Rey says "To Be Fair" dozens of times and it's now in my vocabulary now  : /

>I get called the queen of fungus or suchlike and was confounded by such a charge and then there's a direct quote from me justifying that so : /

>I once ate a bunch of more-or-less identified boletes that were kind of old and got real nauseous just before a plane ride and was faced with the possibility of mad shitting myself on said plane but made myself throw up and it was fine

>don't eat "more or less" identified wild mushrooms. This is fucking stupid and I've at least twice made myself unwell by doing it because I don't fucking learn.

>like I was 100% sure that they weren't the "can kill with just a bite" types. So like I'm an idiot but not a fucking idiot.

>where was I? Oh good points made on both sides (Patrick makes much more good points though)
but numerous concepts and angles of g.m-ing and setting building are covered briskly and interestingly

>Thanks Kiel Chenier for organizing and recording this! You will be interned most honourably with the rest of the God-Kings prize trinkets

also too busy writing usable game content to write any usable game content to bookend this post so :/
 The main takeaway from the debate/sound thrashing of a weeb is that you make something banal and trite good by having it bleed when you cut it

which , to be fair , I think I got from one of Rey's arguements

unless it already bleeds then nah/

Also here is table of things to use instead of crystals or baked goods that are easily understood and visual familiar  (fungus already mentioned in debate)

1. Animal skulls, esp the weird ones like moles, and the human but not , i.e monkeys
"elves cough me up"
 2. homunculus
either the cortical one or the medival one
3. Preserved parts of Saints
4. Bandages stained with the blood of martyrs

5. Oversized Teeth; both animal and human
6. Beetles and other numerous and distinctive bugs
8.Murmuring mouths 
9. Grails
10. Minarets

Monday, 19 February 2018

I want Rey and Patrick to argue about Crystals

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Patrick hates crystals and Rey is a weeaboo , therefore loves Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy has more crystals than a Rainbow Gathering.

I don't super have a side on this , so I'm just shooting at both sides here:

Here is some reasons crystals are bad:

-Google crystals in art, does your soul not writhe?

-lazy plot devices in weeaboo games

-Infact the ease of making a crystal appear special and potent in video games is prob to blame. Like it's just a vector drawing with the lighting way up and boom it's the groin-sauce of the gods themselves

-Dense association with new ageness, hippies, or soft pastel hipsters.

-Also rich people. Diamonds are shit, no one gives a fuck about your wedding ring Sharon, if you need an expert to tell you That yes This is Worth A lot of Money (as opposed to a cubic zircon or whatever)  But functionally it's the same, then it's fucking stupid . This goes for art too.

-That thing where someone is into crystals but doesn't really believes in them, but kind of ironically believes in them because #selfcare , but really it's them embracing other method which is does nothing and therefore can co-exist of with their identity , which is build around being powerless and ineffectual.

-Magic objects that haven't come off or from a living / not living body and/or look safe and nice .If objects aren't magic because you've driven nails into them and tied a goatsjaw bone covered in pepper and dung , but are glowing and have big gems , you are playing an mmo and we can't be having that sort of thing around here.

Here are some reasons crystals could be good:

 -They could be really , absurdly, spike and sharp.  If you use crystals it should be like nature, and nature is utterly indifferent to you and actually alien to you. Crystals should like they are going to kill you by accident and also you are going to have them break off in you and get into lungs and also you just ruined something that took 1000000 years to form

-Crystals that have a dangerous strangeness, an uncanniness suggested by their very structure. Too long , ordered but in chaotic heaps ways, emerging from other things like mold or fungus.

-Sure crystals forming out of blood or bone is good, but honestly this can still look naff if it's a generic looking purple irregular polygon.

So for a crystal to still be interesting , take something about it and go too far with it.

 image sources



Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Another Gristly Campaign Skeleton

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busy with a bunch of stuff but here's some quick content using this again 

making another world for campaign use or just somewhere for the players to pass through on their way to some where nicer.

I get some numbers and get these results:

Foundation Of Economy Is: 

Threat that shapes everyone's lives

ongoing Colonisation by distinctly advantaged Others

Significant Historical Event Which Shaped Quite A Bit I Can Tell You

Doomsday happened but it was mild

Immediately Noticeable

Big Chucks of Death things lying around

Underlying Thing:

Nude Survival

Apex Predator:


Main Adventure Locale:


Well, okay so let's say a big otherworldship landed. Some kind of explorational drone of goliath size. The Wormwood Star.

It moved on, but a bunch of new lifeforms dropped off it.

One of them was like a fungus , in that it will pull useful structural material from its host to make more of itself. 

And it was really really good at it.  

Soon it  converted everything on the planet without an active immune system into itself. 

Leather, dead wood, stone, metal, bone; all these break down in weeks now , becoming more of this "crust-blight"

The landscape is now fine dust deserts , chitin towers , and ossification mountains .

The range  of plants that can grow on this is limited.

Some of the "crust-blight" can be boiled down to make a gelatine like material, used as gruel, or hardened into rubber like material.

It's a big dark-sun doom world but everyone is wearing pvc instead of leather and shells in other words.

The cities that resisted the crustblight the longest got fucking weird from the increasingly desperate sorcerous, alchemy and bloodwork responses to the blight.

Buildings fusing and pulsating with veins in attempt to make them alive enough to fight the crustblight. 

This is your adventure locale, a 3 dimension tetragenic architectural cancer, with the surviving materials of the pre-blight age and the unstable prototypes of living-materials ; veined swords, skin-bricks,  breathing cloaks, tooth-steel.

The biggest worse thing is the "star-hounds" , maybe some kind of mite that fell off the Wormwood Star. 

What makes them realy bad is they are capable of incorporating living elements into their bodies.

They start small and numerous in the cities, but in their final life stages , their now massive forms stagger through the dust dunes to some kind of as yet unfound star-hound graveyard/spawning sea. Despite being the dominant predator , the star-hounds give the impression of being pained and maddened by their life here.

 Zdzislaw Beksinski all the way baby
The Cities



Life In The Cities

The City

Obvious influences and further resources for this is Dark-sun, the Alien franchise, Kingdom death, Wayne Barlow's inferno series, Return To Oz ,and the extensively referenced on this blog :Lebbeus woods

That first photo is from here, the rest of the images are painting by Zdzislaw Beksinski and from numerous content aggregation sites 


Friday, 22 December 2017

Give Me A Myconid And I Will Create A Substandard Version of That Joesph Manola Post About Snakemen

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This seems like a bad idea already.
This is the post it's riffing on : (。ヘ°)
Except I'm doing it with Myconid

Postulate 1 : Fungus breaks down things
Postulate 2: Fungus can utilize elements from things its breaking down in its growth processes
Postulate 3: Intelligence is among the many elements that can utilized like that
Postulate 4: Myconids got their intelligence this way
Postulate 5: They got this from eating god
Postulate 6: God was everywhere and everything but is increasingly lobotomized by Myconids being smart
Postulate 7: Fungus can utilize elements from one organism  it has already successfully infected in its infection process on another organism

Given these 7 Postulates I will now explain the monster manual!!

I don't really know what postulates are and think I'm going to need a lot more to make this work so lets abandon this pretense now

What I'm saying is the world was full of animals and perfectly ecosystems and god was spread even through its creation but then as fungus broke down matter it eroded the god and become intelligent.
As it spread through out everything it drags various traits from one organism to another.
Its eventual goal is total entropy , an ungodhead nirvana.
Intelligence creates complexity and complexity is an even better way of creating entropy.

Dwarves: Moles + Rocks +  Generic Biped
Elves: Squirrels + Generic Biped + Snakes
Halflings:   Prairie dogs + Generic Biped
Gnomes, Pixies, Quicklings, Leprechauns, and all those others small annoying fairies: 
Insects+ Biped+Single Emotion
Orcs: Pigs + Biped + Hippopotamus/Aggression
Goblins: Bats+ Biped
Hobgoblins/Bugbears: Goblins + ants
Generic Biped + Termites
Lizard Men:Isopods + Biped
 Kobolds:  Bedbugs  + Biped
Giants: Humans+ Whales
Ogres: Humans + Elephant Seas
Ogre Magi and Hags: Cruelety + Biped
Dragons: Just Grabbing Anything That Murders And Sticking It Together
Trolls:  Remain Spark of Divine Currently Undersiege by Any Negative Physical Trait The Fungus Can find
Demons, Devils, etc:  Insects + Dreams +Appetites of Elements
Dryads: Flower Spider +  Biped
Nymphs: Desire +  Chameleon + Biped
Minotaurs:  Fungus rerouting through next generation bring monstrous traits to the child. The bull form of Minotaur is the most well know one

Mermen and Aquatic Elves
: Stingrays + Bipeds
Sahuagin:  As Above but with Teeth Everywhere
Chimeras, Manticores, Harpies, and other apparently pointless 'crossbreed' creatures:  Fungal grab backs trying to  encourage concentrated population and militarism and elevation of violent ideals
Slimes, oozes, gibbering mouthers, etc: liquid + hunger
Ilithids:  Squid + Flatworm + Biped. The brain eating is some kind of parasite cycle involving introspection
: Just a bunch of eyes from everywhere + concepts such as Destroy , Control , Hurt 
Ghouls: Biped + Saxon/burying Beetle
Yuan-Ti: Actually Avantgrade Herpes
All those giant animals all over the place: animal + localized physics erosion

main take aways:
-Things look like things but don't let the names fool you. Lizardmen are actually more like isopods if you look at them closely
-The nature of reality is made up of elements like hunger, wet, pride etc. Any non-compound noun is probably an element because we can't think further than god.
- Civilization or anything else seen as "progress" is just a fungal conspiracy to speed up entropy
-Everyone and everything contains fungus , your desires fears and dreams are all placed there by fungus to speed up entropy
-the troll is the closest thing to god

 I should of used more of the "animal is an incarnation of pride, lust etc" common to medical allegorys so if you wanna use this you should mine from that

Monday, 13 November 2017

Geological Time

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another prompt:

Time flows out from the core. It collects in deep minerals. It can be mined

The evil had won , the land was under the shadow.
Then they found the device
And went back
and changed everything
so the evil lost

But a denied future does not disappear, the new future lands atop and folds it away.

Length, width and breadth collapsed into nothing , (the cube), but the times (the sticky out bits) were crushed down into physicality (the cube).

So now in the deep earth heart of the new future,  there is time to be found.

Many kinds of time.

Our perception of time doesn't change, we just perceive different times.

Groon: Time before a disaster. Can do everything fast but move,  nauseating,  hyper focus on weird details 

Sull : time experienced when wandering lost. Stutters between very fast and lurching slow. Can discontinuous move distances, things forgotten re-appear  . All Sull time seems the same time.

Vis: Happy moments that last forever and then are gone. Exist without consequence , while it lasts.

Blist: Grief's fugues. Time moves slowly but in giant mass, like a molasses cold flood. Numbness and , despite everything, healing.

Ghuu: Time where one is too busy to be horrified or despair. Moves quick , with ugly pauses. Tasks done with methodicalness, no feelings yet. 

Lurcha: A sudden wretch of different time, a reversal of experience . Like a sudden accident in drunken night that sobers and chills.